Travelling Alone

	The Back Bay train station was quiet and cold at
two in the morning.  Usually, it was empty as well,
but tonight three lonely souls stood at the yellow
warning line awaiting the 2:20 train -- the last train
of the night.
	Aidan looked anxiously at his watch:  only
twenty-three minutes before the Framingham train
barreled through.
	Exactly six feet to his right stood a young lady. 
	She had a pretty face and lovely clothes, but a hard
day had stolen her grace.  A twitch took advantage of
her exhaustion and settled in her neck, and her leg
muscles clearly wanted a massage.  But more obvious
was the surrender in her eyes to an old pain.
	Exactly six feet to her right stood a young man
dressed in torn clothing.  His face was vacant behind
his beard, but he muttered quietly to himself almost
as if chanting.  He smelled bad, as though he hadn't
had a shower since the weekend. The oddest thing about
him were his shiny, new shoes, which Aidan thought
must have been the man's only treasure.
	The tunnel went only a few yards before
disappearing into black, and out of this darkness
emitted a eerie, low drone -- an echo with no apparent
source.  Aidan stared down what seemed like the belly
of a whale, wondering if he should step in or wait
where he was standing outside.  The enormous hollow
breathed out a cold, wet gust, and he shivered.
	Aidan looked again at his watch, and his heart
skipped a beat.  Twenty minutes.
	"I'm going to kill myself," he blurted out.  He
had only twenty minutes, and he hadn't even told
anyone until now.  He wasn't chickening out, but
someone had to know.  He didn't want to be a tree
falling in the forest with no one to see.  He needed a
witness to make this real.
	The young lady glared at him for a moment, as if
to ask, "Why tell me ?"  Her tired eyes showed only a
hint of awareness.
	The young man in tattered clothes only stared at
Aidan in amazement.
	Aidan began to wonder if they would say anything
at all, when the woman's face softened and she asked.
"Are you serious ?"
	He nodded.  "When the train is near, I'm stepping
off."
	The lady stared down the void, and then flashed
Aidan admiring eyes.  "I've often thought of doing it
myself.  Standing right here, all we have to do is
slip, or lose our balance.  Quick and painless."
	Aidan nodded, as the group moved closer together.
	"Won't someone be hurt by your death ?"  she
asked.
	"No one cares,"  Aidan declared.  "Anyone who
says they do is just being a politician.  Everyone
thinks I'm a nut, anyway, so I'll just be proving them
right.  They'd all be happy to see me gone."
	"Someone always cares,"  she insisted.
	Aidan stared at her cynically.  "Is that why
you've never jumped ?"
	She shook her head.  "My boyfriend cares, but he
doesn't understand me.  No one understands me."
	Aidan nodded.  "They care about the person you
pretend to be.  They don't care about you."
	That hurt, and she bowed her head.  "And what do
you pretend to be ?" she demanded, trying to deflect
her pain.
	"A supervisor at a grocery store," Aidan said. "A
regular at the bowling alley.  I could never be
anything more. Nothing works right.  I could never
think of what to say at a singles' bar.  I don't even
know the people in my apartment building -- everyone
moves in and out so much.  Everyone's in such a
hurry."
	"I'm a secretary,"  she said, joining in the
confession.  "My boyfriend is my boss.  He treats me
like an ornament, or like a plant.  He tries to keep
me happy by giving me things, and he's always looking
at me, but he doesn't care about what I want.  The
other secretaries are jealous, because he treats me
like his pet.  They won't even talk with me, except to
say a polite but empty 'hello'."
	The man in tattered clothes spoke up suddenly. 
He was almost shouting, as though he had never talked
with anyone before and didn't know how to start.  "I
sweep this place at night.  I kinda live here."
	Aidan and the lady glanced at each other, and the
lady asked, "Why are you waiting for the train ?"
	The man shrugged.  "I didn't want to look like I
live here.  People look down on you if they think you
live here."
	Aidan nodded.  "We've got to be the most
miserable people in the world."
	"Are you still going to jump ?" the lady asked.
	Aidan nodded, as he checked his watch.  Seven
minutes.
	She took his hand and stared with him down the
tunnel.  Lights flickered in the distance, then
blackness again.  She swallowed and said, "I'm going
with you."
	Aidan felt his courage rise.
	The man with tattered clothes took the lady's
hand, and he completed the pact.
	They stood an inch from the edge, and Aidan felt
certain that they would be past it soon.  If anyone
paused too long before jumping, the others would pull
him in with them.  Somehow, this plan made everything
seem more real.  They had become models for each
other, and they would be together in their deaths.
	A dot of light flickered at the far end of the
tunnel.
	This was the light that would guide their souls
to peace.  They tightened their grips as the first
rumblings escaped the mouth of the whale.  Aidan felt
determination overwhelm his anxiety.
	Then the man in tattered clothes asked him, "Why
are you killing yourself ?"
	Aidan wished the man would keep quiet and not
disturb his last moments, yet he did answer.  "I have
no real friends, and no one seems to care how I feel."
	The lady smiled, "So you tell people you will
kill yourself, so people will care."
	Aidan winced, as the light of the approaching
train sprayed upon his face.  "Well, what about you. 
You're killing yourself because you don't want to
leave your boyfriend."
	"ATTENTION," spoke the station's loudspeaker,
"FRAMINGHAM TRAIN NOW ARRIVING ON TRACK THREE, MAKING
STOPS AT NEWTON, WELLESLEY CENTER, AND FRAMINGHAM."
	Aidan's heart was racing, now, and when the lady
shed a tear, he felt as if it were his.  She asked the
man in tattered clothes, "Why are you jumping ?"
	He seemed very calm with his reply.  "I dunno.  I
guess because you two are."
	They all held their breaths as the roar of the
train shook the pavement beneath them.  Their palms
were sweaty, and they gripped each other's hands so
tightly, so wonderfully.
	The train blasted its warning, and, with only
seconds left, they stood still and calm.  Aidan
discovered that he did not fear dying;  he only feared
dying alone.  But he did have a regret.
	When the train engine rushed by, they were almost
pushed to their deaths by a gust of air, but their
chained hands held tight even as the train screeched
to a halt.
	The lady and the man in tattered clothes glanced
up at Aidan.  They had been ready to die, so why did
he stop ?  They had expected him to lead them, yet he
held back.
	"My name is Aidan," he said.
	"I'm Janet."
	"My name's Geoff."
	Then they said nothing and only looked at each
other.
	A man in a dark suit, demanded, "Hey, are you
guys coming aboard or not ?"
	Geoff bowed his head and told Janet and Aidan, "I
don't have any money."
	"Come on,"  Aidan said.  "I'll pay your way."
	They boarded the train.  They were the only
passengers, but, for a change, they were not alone.