An Erotic Christmas Carol Stave 4 - Lives That Never Were Eben did not bother to look around his bedroom. He walked into the livingroom prepared and prepared himself a stiff drink. He had read the story as a child; he knew what the next Spirit was coming to do. He accepted some things in his life had to change but others were non-negotiable. He would change but fuck anyone who thought he would live someone else's idea of a good life. He sat in a chair and nursed his drink while waiting for the clock he had never heard before this Christmas Eve strike four. The bell rang the first of four times. He felt the door to his bedroom open. He turned to confront the dark Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come. She was not dark. Eben took a step back as her beauty struck him. She glowed. She was albino; long white hair, white eyebrows, white eyelashes, and pink eyes. She was so beautiful it took him a minute to realize she was naked. He finally noticed and backed up to the wall behind him. If her face was unearthly, her body was divine. Proportional breasts that could easily make men think they were fake and make women pray the same. Her hips had the right dip and spread for her height. Her legs should not have been that long but even when he shook his head to clear his mind their length remained the same. Her pubic hair was the same colorless white of her long locks. Her beauty was so ungodly that the piercings through all her available extremities took nothing away from her. Even the open dark wounds that slashed in random places on her torso reduced none of her affect on him. He looked at all of her for a moment. Her hair blew behind her in a wind he could not feel. He had been expecting a dark spirit but this woman was nothing like he imagined until he looked into her eyes. She was worse! The perfection of her form was rivaled by the emptiness in her eyes. He saw nothing but not the nothing of death. The eyes moved, the pupils dilated, they stared at him, alive but utterly empty of anything remotely like emotion. They saw him but were not moved by his existence. He turned from her eyes wishing that Scrooge's robed Spirit had come instead. The woman stood aside from his bedroom door and pointed to it. Eben took a deep breath to strengthen his resolve and nodded. He avoided touching as her passed her sure it would burn like ice. He walked into what he thought would be his bedroom but instead ended up in Asa's livingroom. She was on the phone. Eben moved towards her and suddenly he could hear the voice on the other end of the line. "Come on, Asa," the other voice pleaded. "This is a great guy with plenty of money to spend." "Joanne, you know I only have one client," Asa said but Eben heard the uncertainty in her voice. He growled as anger flared inside him. He had not heard that noise escape his body since the first boy asked Brenda out. He knew it was unreasonable but knowing Asa was only his, he wanted it to stay that way. "Honey, you need to stop pining over this client of yours," the voice said with cynicism. "Clients never notice their hookers." The last word was said maliciously with full knowledge of the affect it would have. The emotion on Asa's face drained as the woman on the other end slapped her with what she pretended she was not. Eben's hands fisted; he wanted to reach through the phone and choke the other woman. "What if Eben calls for me tonight?" Asa said trying to marshal a defense. "Asa, we'll send someone else," the voice assured her. "I mean it's not like a trick cares if he fucks a different whore, right?" Asa stood straight up and looked ready to slam the phone down. "Listen baby," the voice said dripping of sweetness and world knowledge. "This new guy is young; he's got money to blow. Eben's not going to be there forever so you have to think about yourself." Eben watched the words slam into Asa. He saw it in her eyes; she accepted the words into herself. It was the mention of Eben being gone that bored into her heart. "Set it up," Asa said defeated. "All right," the voice said in triumph. "I'm telling you baby, you will not regret this." "Joanne," Asa whispered into the phone. "Yeah, babes?" the voice said distracted. "Don't tell me if Eben calls," Asa whispered. She hung up the phone gently and looked for a couple of minutes like she would call back to say she changed her mind. Finally, she walked backwards and collapsed on the sofa. She did not sob but tears streamed freely down her face. The Spirit stepped between Eben and Asa. She pointed to the door. Eben walked with angry steps through it. He looked around at the antiseptic medical institution walls. He noticed the bed and its occupant. He moved to it and saw Tiffany restrained to the bed. He did not have time for his emotions to turn from the anger he felt in Asa's room to the anger he would feel at seeing Tiffany strapped down before the door opened. The orderly took one look around the hallway to make sure he was alone before walking into the room. He closed the door behind him and draped a towel over the opening that would have allowed someone to look in. Eben's eyes blazed with an anger equal to the Ghost's emptiness when the orderly started taking off his clothes. The orderly stripped quickly never taking his eyes off Tiffany. There was a touch of drool on the side of his lips. Eben looked at Tiffany but the girl was asleep. He could see the dry trail of tears on her face. The orderly moved to the bed and quietly moved Tiffany around so that he could take off her hospital bottoms. Tiffany moved restlessly while he did it. It must have been the cool air of the room on naked flesh that woke her. The orderly knew the moment it happened and pushed her legs apart to get between them. Tiffany screamed and struggled beneath him. "Scream all you want bitch! No one's going to hear you. I love it when you fucking cunts squeal!" the orderly said harshly. The excitement in his voice was disgusting. Tiffany struggled harder but her arms were restrained to the bed leaving her no way to defend herself. The orderly reached down to grab her legs and pushed them up her body until he could place them on his shoulders. He reached between his legs. Tiffany screamed mindlessly and tried to shake him off but there was nothing she could do to prevent his first thrust into her. The orderly grunted as her body's dryness stopped him but pulled back and pushed more of himself inside her. "NO!" Tiffany screamed as the pain found her voice for the first time since her father's death. The orderly forced his dick completely inside the girl's unwilling body. He settled his weight over her and seemed to be enjoying her struggles to escape impalement. He wanted more so he grabbed her legs from his shoulders and pushed them down to open her. It spread Tiffany uncomfortably and gave Eben a perfect view of their joining. There was virgin's blood on the man and Tiffany. "Daddy!" Tiffany screamed as rapist forced her into position. "Yeah, bitch!" the orderly whispered harshly, a contrast to Tiffany's screams. "I'm your fucking daddy now! I'm going to be your fucking daddy every night from now on." The orderly pulled back and rammed himself inside Tiffany. Eben sat on the floor what seemed like a forever later. The orderly had finished quickly; the cleanup had taken longer. He had smiled as he undid Tiffany's restraints. He whispered to her that nobody told him to put her in them when he got on shift. No one thought Tiffany was a danger but the orderly liked to have his sluts strapped down. He left the room and gave Tiffany a smile that said he would be back the next night to swallow more of her pain. Eben watched as Tiffany crawled into the bathroom to vomit. She barely made it to the toilet. "Mommy..." he heard Tiffany sob quietly but no one answered her. He closed his eyes. Her movements around the room made him open them. She was on her knees staring at the moon clearly visible through the window. She was facing him so he could look into her eyes. They were empty but where once there had been light now there was purpose. He made himself watch. He made himself watch until the last of her life fled her eyes as she hanged herself with the bedsheets. It had been an unstoppable purpose in her eyes, and he wanted the purpose in his own to match it. He stood before her lifeless body and made vows to her. It would not happen. The vengeance of every woman, Eben was sure Tiffany was not his first, the orderly had ever touched was going to rain down on the fucker's head. Eben stared at Tiffany, burning the image of her death into his soul. Righteous anger, fury or whatever it was that would make him kill the man with his own hands if need be filled him. He would not allow this to happen. He turned around and the Ghost pointed to the door that was now open. Eben walked through it and into Roberta's kitchen. The man was large and arguing loudly with Roberta. Eben walked around them and disliked what he saw. He knew the look in his assistant's eyes. Like not touching Brenda, this was the penance Roberta chose for failing to save her oldest child. The recrimination that fueled Tiffany's depression now fired Roberta's tolerance for the pig in front of her. The man moved suddenly and Eben felt the slap as it hit Roberta. She was thrown back and to the floor. The man moved to her and kicked her in the ribcage. Roberta grunted but not screaming was a part of the penance she assigned herself. Eben turned around and walked out of the room. Men who could not conceive of striking a woman in anger had fathered him. He remembered times with both his fathers that even in the harsh anger they had refused to yell at their wives. "I would have fixed that anyway," Eben said angrily to the Spirit before looking around. "You didn't have to take me there. I know I can help Tiffany. I didn't need any more convincing." The Spirit just stared at him with her unfeeling eyes. "Bitch!" Eben said with every dark emotion he felt in his voice. The Spirit gave him a small smile no part of her eyes in it. The Spirit gestured behind him. Eben looked around and smiled. He looked at the Spirit as he took in the cemetery. "Seeing my own grave site won't affect me, you know," he said knowingly. "I'm not afraid of death. Fuck you, if you think Marle's punishment seems hard. I'm not Jason, when I go insane I'll fucking stay there." The Spirit pointed behind Eben again. Eben gave her a dismissive smile and turned around. He saw what he expected to see, a gravestone with his name on it. The date surprised him; he had lived longer than expected. The gravesite did not move him as he looked at it coldly. He would change what he had to but no one could make him live a different life. He knew what was right and wrong; and some things were wrong regardless of how much he wanted them. He looked around the gravesite and felt relief that there were no graves near it. He turned to the Spirit, "I died, so what? Scrooge's fear was that he died with no one caring. It's not true; Brenda cared about me, my parents loved me. Jason died alone, but that's what I want. To leave no one behind like my parents did. It wasn't their fault, I know it, but I was alone." The Spirit stared at him. "We can go. I'll change what I have to change to save Tiffany, to help Roberta, to make Brenda go on with her life. But I won't crawl for any of you. I died with few mourners. It's something more people should wish for. Brenda will have my money and be happy for it." The Spirit smiled again, and pointed towards an approaching figure. Eben felt a fist wrap around his heart and when it squeezed it did not do so gently. It was a much older Brenda that walked toward the grave carrying flowers. She walked alone. The Spirit and Eben waited for her to reach them. She stooped slowly to remove the flowers from his grave and replaced them with the new ones she carried. She sat heavily beside the gravesite. She told Eben's grave what her week had been like. She started with an apology for being late. Eben knelt down beside her. "Don't do this, Brenda," he said quietly to her unhearing face. "I played with Melissa's grandchildren today," she said wistfully. "Sometimes I wish I had children, but it wasn't meant to be, I guess. I would have loved a son that looked like you, darling." "Fuck!" Eben exclaimed standing up, and kicking his gravestone. "You fucking waited! How the FUCK could you wait for me!?!" Eben felt like destroying every gravestone in the cemetery, he felt like screaming forever, he felt like only physical pain could drown out everything swelling inside him. Eben knelt by her again, getting close to her face. "I am not so fucking special that you have to give up your life. I'm not worth everything you want." "You were everything she wanted," the Spirit said behind him. Eben shivered as he turned to look at her. Her voice was a knife into a soul; he felt cold deep inside himself and wrapped his arms around his stomach as it exploded in pain. No human body could produce a voice like that. He could hear Brenda talking about Melissa's grandchildren. The pain released him and Eben expelled a hard breath. He was lying beside Brenda. He looked at her through a sheen of tears that he knew the Spirit's voice had not caused. "You're supposed to be happy, baby. Get married like Sylvia. Have children. I'm supposed to be the generous uncle. They would give you grandchildren that I'd spoil too. That's how it's supposed to be." He sat up with tears for her on his cheeks and for the first time since the night he had touched her he listened to her. She would never let him go. The love was in her voice. The same love in her eyes. The same love in her touch as she put her fingers on his name etched in the stone. Brenda would never let him go. The Spirit came and put her hand on Eben's shoulder. Her touch did burn cold. Eben tried to shake it off, but the grip would not relent. He looked up at her. There was satisfaction in her eyes as she used her hand to cover his eyes and pushed him back into a darkness much like he imagined death would be.