An Erotic Christmas Carol 

Stave 2 -- The Boy That Was

Eben woke up on the floor, an echo of pain floated through his brain. He
sat up slowly, looking around. The window was open; the cold of the
evening was taking advantage and entering the penthouse.

He stood up carefully and walked the three steps to the window.

"No fucking way," he whispered as he looked outside for something he
refused to accept he might see.

A heavy bell from somewhere in the night struck eleven times; he had never
heard it before. He turned around to stare at his own clock. The thought
that he would know the truth of his experience in an hour flashed through
his mind.

Struggling with his disbelief, he reached out to close the window. He
thought, and thought and thought. He fought with his rational mind the
echo of sorrow that danced in his soul. The more he thought the more the
confusion built as the echo became more noticeable and the headache more
pronounced.

He sat down on the edge of the bed holding his head in his hands. He
screamed inside himself hoping rage would drown out the sorrow.

Rage won, shouting down the accusation in the chorus of voices.

He lay back determined to win a thorough victory. He resolved to wait for
whatever demons his mind cared to throw at him.

He was sure none of it was real anyway.

The alarm clock woke him up. He smiled relieved. He opened his eyes to a
dark room. He slept with the shades open so his room so morning light
should have been streaming inside. He looked at the alarm clock next his
bed.

12:00 AM.

He did not remember setting the alarm for that time.

He got out of bed to check the rest of the penthouse but the door to his
bedroom opened. His eyes snapped to see who could have opened it.

Another demon had come.

A child with chin length curly hair, above the height that said she should
be a teenager but too underdeveloped to look like one, stood in the
doorway. Her face shone with innocence, he was sure it was a girl. Her
light brown hair seemed to glow as she looked at Eben. Her eyes were a
cloudy blue that spoke of a sadness for the things that have come and
gone. She stared at Eben before she stepped into his bedroom.

"I expected a little more light," Eben said as he stepped away from the
bed.

The girl smiled which suffused her entire body with a soft light.

"Like that?" she asked.

Eben sat down on the bed, and shook his head.

"I think I would prefer the non-nightlight version of the Ghost of
Christmas Past," Eben said her.

The child laughed as the light around her died.

Eben stared at the girl for a second. She was dressed in tight red shorts
with bright green trimmings, an escaped elf from Santa's workshop. Her
lips drew his eyes. She was too young to be appealing; or she should have
been. It was the age in her eyes that made it almost okay to like the sexy
thickness of her lips. Her eyes spoke of age beyond age, or maybe it was
experience beyond age.

The girl smiled again as if she could read Eben's mind.

"So you are the Spirit of Christmas past?" asked Eben.

"None other," the Spirit answered. She made a leap across the room, over
Eben's head, and onto the bed. The Spirit started a lively bed-bouncing
episode.

Eben got off the bed quickly and turned to face the Spirit. She laughed
freely as she sat down hard on the bed and allowed the bounce in the
mattress to spring her standing again.

Eben watched her for a moment before speaking.

"I forgot my next line," he said.

"Long Past?" the girl giggled out.

"Huh?" Eben said confused.

"You're supposed to ask me if I'm the Spirit of Christmas Long Past, or is
it the Long Spirit of Christmas Past."

The Spirit bounced powerfully and jumped towards Eben. He reached out to
catch her. She looked with those sad blue eyes into Eben's. She wriggled
and Eben let her go.

Eben watched as the Spirit walked around picking up different things in
the bedroom and tossed them aside when she saw they were things only
adults could be interested in.

"So are you?"

"Am I what?" the Spirit asked not looking at Eben but with mischief lacing
her voice.

"Are you the Spirit of Christmas Long Past, or is it the Long Spirit of
Christmas Past?"

The Spirit turned around, pulled her shorts from her waist, and looked
inside.

"Well, I'm a girl so definitely not the Long Spirit..." she replied. She
reached into her shorts and looked for all things like she had stuck
fingers inside herself. "Deep enough though."

Eben broke into a second's worth of laughter; the child smiled peacefully.

Eben stopped his laugh, and tried to look down at the girl.

"Your Christmas past."

Blue eyes turned sadder as she approached Eben.

"What?" Eben asked.

"I'm here to try to help you, Eben. Not everything that can help you, but
a small part."

"What part do you serve?"

"Memory."

Eben nodded trying to understand the cryptic remark.

The girl jumped again but this time she crashed into Eben. He thought it
would hurt but found himself flying slowly backwards onto the bed. His
robe flew open as he landed with her on top of his thighs.

He looked up to find her staring at his crotch with a raised eyebrow.

"Yummy!" she said and scrambled down his legs so that her face was in his
crotch. She licked him and his dick reacted by hardening even though Asa
had done her best to drain him of potency.

"Hey, you're just a little girl," Eben yelled reaching down to pull her
away from his crotch. He grabbed two fistfuls of hair but a moan escaped
him when she wrapped her too full lips around his dickhead.

It felt like her lips looked; thick, wet, warm.

Incredibly warm.

She pulled him out of her mouth and smiled. She gestured and Eben's hands
shot away from her hair as his arms extended outward from his sides. She
stood up and pushed his thighs apart with her feet. He tried to fight the
pressure but could not resist. His dick demanded he do what was necessary
to get it between her wonderful lips again.

She knelt between his legs and looked at him. She reached down to grab his
dick. She stroked up and down as the sadness in her eyes turned to desire.

"You know Eben," she said. She leaned down and licked around his crown
before speaking again, "That pretty sister of yours would have happily
done this when she looked as old as I do."

She took him into her mouth deeply and stroked him with the love another
would have if he had allowed it. He thrust upward and found that motion
was allowed.

She pulled up from his dick and smiled as she met his eyes.

"She dreamed of it," she said sexily. "She practiced with everything she
thought was your size. She caught a lot of peeks at you and her favorite
was watching you masturbate."

She took him completely down her throat and hummed a merry Christmas
jingle. Eben thought that 'Jingle Bells' had always been one of his
favorite.

She pulled up again and kissed the tip of his dick.

"She prayed that you would let her suck you like this," she whispered.
"She knew she was too young for more, but to drink your cum was love to
her."

She took him in her mouth and stroked with her hands until he was at the
edge. She pulled off him and took the side of his dick in her lips. She
ran her lips up and down that side, and then moved to give the other side
the same treatment.

"Do you know how long she's been wanting you?" she asked before sucking
just the tip. "She would have done it from the first time you felt
physical desire. She's wanted you every day of her life and she would have
made sure your balls never felt the pressure of need. Think about how
frustrated you were all those teen years, and there was a cherub in the
next room who dreamed of you using her to empty your balls into."

She took him in her mouth and down her throat. She did not hum this time
but instead her tongue did things only a Spirit could have. Her throat
massaged the head of his penis drawing his seed to the surface.

"Brenda!" Eben yelled imagining what it would have felt as teenager to
have her drinking from his body. It was too much and he came like a
teenager, all loss of control and a blinding attempt to empty his body
inside her mouth. She drank him as if through her another little girl
could have her dark desires fulfilled.

The Spirit continued her gentle loving, but his body was too empty from
the power of his orgasm to feel anything more than pleasure from her
touch.

Finally, the Spirit got up from the bed and walked to the open window. She
reached a hand back to Eben.

"Do we really have to do the whole flying-through-the-night thing? I'm not
really all that into heights without parachutes," he said getting up and
tying his robe. His knees felt weak but it felt as if the burden of a
forbidden desire had been lifted from him by having lived even a shadow of
it.

The Spirit laughed, walked back to Eben and took him by the arm. Eben felt
warmth and energy spread to his extremities as her hand touched him.

"You are going to hold me up, right? No letting go, and then flying down
to catch me. 'Cause that's definitely not a thing to do."

"Brenda wasn't that type of child," she replied.

The Spirit stepped up to and over the sill. Eben followed absentmindedly,
trying to figure out what the Spirit meant by her last remark.

They were soaring through the night air, which got Eben's attention. They
flew into a low level cloud and when they came out of it everything below
had changed. There were fewer lights and none had the harshness of city
lights.

They came down onto a porch.

"I haven't been here in a while," Eben said quietly.

The Spirit nodded. She pulled Eben toward the door, and passed with him
through it. They should have entered into the front hallway, with the
steps to upstairs directly in front of them. Instead, they entered the
kitchen.

"Mom!" Eben exclaimed as soon as he saw the couple standing in the kitchen
of his old home.

"They can't hear you Eben, or see you."

Eben stared at the woman leaning against the sink. He turned to look at
the man sitting down at the table looking up at the woman.

"You never called her mom before," the Spirit said coming to stand by
Eben.

"Did you tell him?" the woman said walking to the oven. She opened the
oven door and looked at a sheet of Christmas cookies.

"Yes, I did," the man replied standing up and pacing around the kitchen.

She closed the oven door slowly, straightened up, but kept her back to
him.  Eben smiled as he recognized her reaction to having to ask questions
she did not want to.

"What did he say?"

The man sat down and looked at her back before he replied, "He asked if he
would be moving out now."

Her head dropped. She reached around behind her; her hand touched one of
the kitchen chairs and she collapsed into it crying softly.

The man shot to her side, and stroked her hair.

"It's not us, babe. You know it's not us. His parents died a year ago. He
doesn't understand. He's barely five years old."

Eben turned toward the door to the living room. He knew it would be open;
enough for a five year old face to watch the man and woman that had taken
him in crying over his loss. He knelt down so he could look at the face.
He remembered every emotion and watched them color his young face. The
shock that these people cried over him when their own child was going to
come into the world, the guilt of feeling for someone when he desperately
missed his parents, the acceptance that his parents were not going to come
back from death for him.

Eben watched emotion fight emotion.

The door closed.

Eben knew the child would go to his room, and cry a last time for dead
parents before burying them deep in his heart.

"Come," the Spirit said to Eben taking his hands.

"Wait!" Eben said staring at his foster mother.

"No! Come!" the girl insisted dragging Eben to the door.

They walked into a spacious living room. Eben knew they were in a
different time of his past. Memories flooded him, threatening to
overwhelm.

"No!" he exclaimed angrily. He ripped his arm from the girl's grip. He
turned to walk back into the kitchen but the door swung open and he was
beaten.

A teenage girl walked through the door carrying a small tray of cups
smiling at someone in the room. Eben's heart skipped beats as he saw the
excitement shining in her eyes.

It was Brenda at sixteen.

He turned to see himself at twenty-two sitting on the floor in front of
the couch. The younger version of Eben was staring at the tree,
unsuspecting what his foster sister planned for him.

Brenda sat down next to the younger Eben putting the tray on the couch.
She handed Eben a cup. The older Eben smiled as he remembered the first
taste of alcohol in the eggnog.

The younger Eben reacted as he remembered.

"Bren, what the hell did you put in this stuff?" he asked, a hint of
laughter was in his voice as he took another more careful sip.

"I thought you needed to relax. I mean all studying and stuff," she
whispered. The older Eben saw everything he should have noticed at the
time; how she watched him drink carefully, how she only used her cup to
warm her hands, how her breathing had nervous hitches in it, the shining
in her eyes as her decision solidified the more and more the alcohol hit
the younger Eben.

The scene blurred and he knew that time had passed. He took a step back
not wanting to relive what was coming but he felt a wall behind him. He
turned to look but there was nothing behind him. He scanned the room and
saw the Spirit sitting on the back of the couch avidly watching the two
people on the floor.

Eben looked down at himself and Brenda. She had taken off the sweater and
was dressed in only jeans and a t-shirt. He remembered his own surprise
when he noticed she was not wearing a bra. His hands itched as the old
blast of pure lust hit him again.

Brenda reached up and started running her hands along the younger Eben's
face. Eben knew what the younger version was thinking. The alcohol had
fuzzed the thinking process though. He had known what was happening but
rationalized that it was just a sisterly touch, holding onto that thought
until it was too late.

She tickled him starting a wrestling match. He knew how much she did not
like to be tickled so it was a fight to make her stop without retaliating.
She ended up on top of him, their faces inches away.

Too late.

The first kiss was a tentative touch of lips, a suggestion, a hope they
both held deeply. The second deepened the hope into prayer, as long built
up pressure came out. Eben had wanted her; she had been his in a special
way from the day of her birth. He had protected her, cared more for her
than himself. He never loved her as a sister; what happened between them
that Christmas Eve was what he had felt for her every day since her birth.

Deep inside, he had always believed she was his, only and forever.

The kiss deepened as tongues fought to say more than they could with
words. The younger Eben's hands came around to caress her ass. The hands
touched, cupped, and became more insistent as the clothing kept them away
from skin. Eben pulled the t-shirt from her jeans and let his hands run
along her lower back. She ground her hips into him.

The older Eben saw what he had not wanted to see afterwards; he had not
taken advantage of his sister. She wanted it as much as he had but more
openly. He felt his knees buckle, his eyes frozen on the couple.

She disconnected their lips long enough to take the t-shirt off. She was
coming back down but was stopped as Eben brought his hands from her ass to
hold her breasts. His thumbs lightly passed over nipples. She groaned at
the initial contact, and her breathing deepened as he continued the
passes. She gasped as Eben reached up to capture one nipple in his mouth
and applied gentle suction. She grabbed his head lending him support,
needing him to continue. He switched breasts and she gasped at the assault
of sensation from a different place.

Eben knew what was about to come; maybe it would have been better if he
had been more careful. He shook his head; no nothing would have dimmed the
guilt he had felt at betraying his foster...

No! His parents!

The younger Eben sat up holding Brenda in place and turned so she was on
her back. He reached to her jeans undoing the belt and buttons of her
jeans in frantic motions.

Eben shuddered as he saw the loss of control the younger man was going
through, but he also saw why he had been so successful. She was as frantic
to remove her clothing. It was her who pushed her jeans and panties down
her thighs. He helped but she led in her disrobing.

The younger man hesitated when she lay naked beneath him. It was only the
older Eben that saw the victory in her eyes. The younger man dove to the
juncture of her thighs, as the older man remembered how badly he wanted to
taste her.

Victory fled from her eyes as pleasure flooded her body from her center.
Eben was not being careful or giving, he was there to learn the flavor of
her need but the results were the same. She had been waiting all of her
life, dreaming of being naked beneath him. She gasped and reached down to
run her fingers through his hair. The older Eben watched her face as lust
continued to overpower the younger version of him.

He remembered.

"Eben!" she nearly screamed as she went over the climax of pleasure. Her
toes flexed attempting to make themselves fists, her hands tried to get a
grip on the carpet, her thigh muscles began to vibrate as she reached the
apex of sensation. She bit her lips to stop from screaming but her eyes
rolled back as she could not control the mindless chanting of her lover's
name.

She had just begun to come down again when the younger Eben knelt between
her legs using his to keep them spread. He was taking off clothing as fast
as he could. She had not completely drifted down when he was naked with a
rampant erection pointing towards her. He reached down to grip her below
one knee. He pushed her leg up and reached with his other hand to get a
grip on his dick. He placed himself at the entrance to her pussy. She
gasped as the hard warmth bumped her clitoris; it stopped her downward
movement away from pleasure. She opened her eyes to look at him; her hands
moved to grab his hips to pull him into her. It was unnecessary, a small
adjustment had put his dickhead in a position to open her pussy lips with
the tip. Her hands touched his hips but the forward movement into her had
already begun. She dug her nails in as he moved inexorably forward. It was
an unstoppable thrust to sink him completely inside her.

Her cry of pain jolted both the younger and older Eben. The older came out
of his trance as guilt assaulted his lust, but the younger man did not
understand. His eyes looked lost as he looked down. He needed completion;
of the act, of every fantasy he would not admit to, of love he did not
have the words to speak of. The guilt was enough to buy her a small
reprieve so her body could accept him. She did not need much; his need was
something she always believed was hers to satisfy. She moved her legs
higher as the pain and discomfort became secondary to what had always come
first in her life, Eben.

She dug her nails into his hips and began to slowly gyrate her hips, much
sooner than the older Eben remembered. The younger version thought it was
a small eternity where every part of his body wanted to pull out and
thrust back in but he had to wait for her.

The younger Eben pulled out slowly and thrust back inside. He had wanted
it to last to give her pleasure beyond what any man ever could. She had
different plans as her nails spurred him. He could have held against that
but she helped by moving her hips the two inches that she could move them
trying to ride him from beneath. Eben's head moved back as he pistoned
both of them towards climax.

There was plenty of volume as she screamed his name when she felt the
thickening that came before his orgasm. He leaned down to kiss her, to
take her screams inside him as he exploded inside of her. He ground his
hips releasing into her body as her arms came around him to pull him
tighter against her.

The older Eben saw what his younger self missed. It was not his body that
caused her shudders during her first orgasm with her life's penis inside
of her. It was the thought that she was his, that it was Eben's cum
wetting the walls of her pussy; her body had nothing to do with her
orgasm.

Her love caused it.

The Spirit came to stand in front of the older Eben blocking his view.

Eben stood up and let the Spirit take him by the hand. He refused to look
back at the couple intertwined as sleep overcame them. The Spirit turned
him toward the door.

Eben felt them shift as they touched the door.

He walked into the Christmas office party at his real first job. It had
been a good experience. He met one of the firm's best clients Jason Marle
but somehow did not think that would be what he was here to see.

He saw her.

Sylvia.

Blonde hair streamed down her back as her blue eyes searched the people
for the only face that she would recognize. He met her in their first year
at law school. He had been purpose but she was passion. She defended every
one of her beliefs with the full voice of her heart, which he could not
match with cold logic. They started as friends but in time the memories of
his Christmas Eve with Brenda hounded him into her open arms. He did not
know if it had been because he wanted someone between Brenda and him or if
he touched something in those few moments with his sister that said he
could have the same with this beautiful woman.

"We don't have to be here," he told the Christmas Spirit.

"Yes, we do, Eben."

"Fuck!" Eben said knowing what was coming.

Sylvia finally found another young version of Eben in a corner talking to
Jason. The two men were engrossed in conversation. The older Eben could
not remember exactly what they spoke of; considering what resulted he
should have.

Sylvia walked towards them. The older Eben followed as if he could stop
what was about to happen. He watched as she politely said hello to Jason
but motioned for Eben to talk with her in the conference room. The older
Eben was already moving in that direction.

He was inside the room when the younger version of him slammed the door
closed.

"Sylvia, what are you doing? I needed to talk to that man."

"Why? Is he going to fund your first grab at a million dollars?" she
yelled at him.

Both Ebens turned to look outside, but no one heard her.

"Goddamnit, don't yell! You know I hate that."

"So what? Am I supposed to accept that you don't have time for anything
but work anymore? That you fucking treat me like a sex-stop on the way to
your success."

"You know it's not like that, Sylvia," he said losing some of his temper.

"I know it's not like that, Eben. But that's how you make me feel."

"If you know it's not like that, then what is this about?"

The older Eben winced at the stupidity of that remark.

Sylvia froze looking at him. The older Eben could see the pain in her
eyes. The younger man refused to.

"Why did you cancel our Christmas visit to your house?" she asked simply.

The older Eben nodded, this had been the one thing she could not
understand. Their breakup had been his fault, but the last straw was not
something he could have ever avoided giving her.

"I need to work on the 26th," the younger Eben said simply. The older man
watched as Sylvia searched for an opening that was not there in the
younger man's face. His face shutout all emotion; he stared back at her
with eyes that said nothing.

That gave nothing.

"You know it's over, right?" she said as tears streamed out of her eyes.

The face still gave her nothing.

She nodded, squared her shoulders and walked out of the room proudly. The
older Eben watched her smiling that she had not left defeated even though
he knew, as he had known then, that she loved him. The lovers knew the
relationship was collapsing; the younger Eben could not give enough.
Neither the older or younger version blamed her for leaving.

Eben admitted to himself that he had loved Sylvia, but somewhere deep
inside of the younger man hid the belief that there was someone else meant
for him. He had been cold to Sylvia but a part of him understood now that
as much as he loved her, he would always loved Brenda more. His foster
sister was someone he could not let go of. Breaking it off with Sylvia was
a step towards claiming what had always been his.

The younger Eben stared out the window for a few minutes. There was a
knock on the door. Both Ebens turned to the door. Jason Marle stuck his
head and smiled.

"Woman problems, son?"

The younger Eben smirked confirmation.

"Well, here's as good a solution as I know," Jacob said lifting up a
bottle of Jack Daniels.

The younger Eben smiled and nodded, walking towards his future.

"That's the end of my painful Christmas pasts. We can go home now."

"No," the Spirit said.

Eben nodded angrily, steeling himself for what was coming.

The Spirit took his hand and walked him to the door. Eben felt himself
shutting down inside. This part he did not need to remember, every part of
it burned in his soul.

They walked through the door, and onto the porch of his foster parents'
home again. It was a couple of days after Sylvia left him, he had returned
home to claim his sister. They waited; Eben saw the police cars in front
of the house that he had not noticed at the time of the scene. He turned
to look up the street as the taxicab made the turn. It stopped in front of
the home. Eben stepped out of the cab, paid and started up to the door. He
had not noticed the officers and none tried to stop him. The older Eben
saw it in their eyes; they knew who he was but did not want to be the one
that told him the bad news. The older version remembered that he had been
thinking joining Marle's firm in the New Year. He rang the doorbell; he
had keys but did not use them anymore out of respect for his parents.

The door opened and a tall black policeman stood stared at him. Eben took
a step back to look darkly at the uniformed cop. Brenda came to the door.

"Eben!" she cried before jumping into his surprised arms. They had not
touched since the Christmas Eve that consummated their lives. She sobbed
uncontrollably. She was gasping words between sobs but both Ebens only
heard the important ones.

"Mom... Dad... dead!"

The older Eben shut his eyes in pain, as Brenda fainted; the assault of
emotions was too much for her. The younger Eben fell onto the porch; his
eyes empty again. The child inside resurged as a remembered pain was
echoed in his new life.

"We leave, now!" Eben said to the Spirit.

He turned to confront the girl child. There was no need to hear again
about the home invasion that left his foster mother and father dead. There
was no need to see the relief in his eyes and the litany of "Thank You,
God!" that poured out of him because Brenda had not been home.

He looked around wildly but was back inside his bedroom. He turned back to
look at the younger Eben and Brenda, but all he could see was the other
half of his bedroom.

He looked around the room.

Nothing.

He reached up to wipe the tears that bled out of his eyes as the loss of
his second mother and father came back. He betrayed them with his relief
that Brenda had not been there. He had not mourned, as he should have, he
only thought that Brenda had not died.

He had punished himself for that betrayal. He buried his feelings for
Brenda, denied every one of her advances.

He did it because the day her parents died his first thought had been to
thank God for not taking Brenda too.

He turned and lay down on the bed.