Sex in the Afterlife



	Things in the Miller's Tale was very quiet this particular 

evening.  Dead quiet as it would turn out to be.  I was sitting at a 

back table sipping my second double latte, enjoying the gentle buzz it 

was giving me.  Tom Miller, the proprietor was behind the counter 

taking inventory for the second time this evening to give him something 

to do, as there were very few customers to serve.  I was taking notes 

on a story a local truck driver had just told me.  How this particular 

truck driver found the Miller's Tale was beyond me.  He was not the 

usual kind you see here.  The normal clientele was on the fringe of 

normal society, this truck driver had gone past the fringe and never 

looked back.  He tried to make me believe that while delivering the 

morning newspapers to the suburban distribution centers he was abducted 

be aliens from Alpha Centri.  Only these aliens happened to be all 

female and looked like those sex goddess you might see on the beaches 

of southern California, except they had green skin (he knew this 

because none of them wore clothes) and for some unexplained reason all 

had to have repeated sex with him.  Any way, this explanation of why he 

was late for his deliveries didn't work on his supervisor, and he might 

have been hoping it stood a better chance with me.  It didn't.  As I 

was filing the story under D for desperate, (because that is the only 

way it would get into print) a voice resonated through my head.



	MAY I SIT HERE?



	I looked up to see a tall robed figure stand in front of me.  

Deep within the darkness of it's cowl I could see the outline of a 

skull, it's eyes (or where it's eyes should be) glowed a soft blue.  

"I'm not..... I mean , you haven't...?" I stammered.



	NO.  NOT YET.  I JUST CAME TO TALK IF THAT IS ALL RIGHT WITH YOU.



	Looking past a rather bony shoulder, I could see a scythe leaning 

against the coat hooks by the door.  It's blade shimmered blue with 

sharpness.  The stranger sat down across from me.



	I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT ACROSS THE STREET AND I AM A LITTLE EARLY .  

I THOUGHT I COULD KILL SOME TIME IN CONVERSATION.



	"Kill time" I said nervously but trying not to show it. "a funny 

pun."



	PUN?  I DO NOT KNOW WHAT A PUN IS.  I AM AFRAID I DO NOT HAVE 

MUCH OF A SENSE OF HUMOR EITHER.  OR SO I AM TOLD.   I ENJOY 

INTELLIGENT DIALOG THOUGH.



	"Certainly," I said.  All this caffeine was not helping my 

calmness.  "You are who I think you are?"



	DEATH?  YES.



	"Can I order something for you?"



	WHATEVER YOU ARE HAVING WILL BE FINE.



	I signaled Tom for another latte.  He brought it over to our 

table and set it down in front of Death without giving him so much as a 

glance.  Noticing my astonishment Death responded.



	MOST PEOPLE DO NOT WISH TO SEE ME, SO THEY DO NOT.



	"I must know," I began summoning up my courage, "What is the 

afterlife like?  Is it Heaven and Hell or ...I don't know..."



	WHATEVER YOU MAKE OF IT.  AFTER YOU DIE, I SEVER THE LINK BETWEEN 

THE SOUL AND THIS WORLD.  THE SOUL GOES JUST WHERE IT EXPECTS TO GO.  

IF THAT IS HEAVEN OR VALHALLA, OR REINCARNATION.  WHATEVER THE SOUL 

TRULY BELIEVES.



	"So if I believed I would go to a place where young naked girls 

fondled me through eternity, that's where I would go?"  Death gave a 

smile, or it would have been a smile if he had flesh on his face.



	NOT SO HARD ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THE SYSTEM WORKS.  YOU GIVE 

AN INTERESTING EXAMPLE THOUGH.  MANY BELIEVE THAT THEIR PERSONAL HEAVEN 

CONSISTS OF ENDLESS SEX.  MOST ARE ROCK MUSICIANS WHO DIE YOUNG FROM 

CHEMICAL INGESTION.  



	Sensing the best interview I've had since Lori Peters channeled 

Caligula in the middle of one of his roman orgies, I pressed Death for 

more details.



	I AM NOT MUCH OF A STORY TELLER, BUT I WILL DO MY BEST.  ONE MAN 

I RECALL WENT TO A PLACE VERY MUCH LIKE THE WORLD HE LEFT, EXCEPT THE 

TEMPERATURE WAS ALWAYS WARM AND NO ONE WAS, WHAT HE DEEMED, UGLY.  

BEAUTIFUL WOMEN WOULD STOP HIM IN THE STREET, KNELL BEFORE HIM, AND 

OPEN HIS TROUSERS.  THE WOMAN WOULD PULL OUT HIS MANHOOD, WHICH ALWAYS 

SEEMED TO BE AN ORDER OF SIZE BIGGER THAN IT WAS IN REAL LIFE.  SHE 

WOULD CRADLE IT, CARESS IT, COMMENT ON ITS SIZE, AND THEN SLIP IT INTO 

HER MOUTH.  SHE WOULD MOVE HER MOUTH IN A BACK AND FORTH MOTION MAKING 

SLURPING NOISES AS SHE DID.  THEY WOULD BOTH SEEM TO BE ENJOYING IT.  

PASSERBY WOULD LOOK FOR A MOMENT A SMILE AND GO ABOUT THEIR BUSINESS.  

AFTER WHAT SEEMED TO BE A VERY LONG TIME, THE GIRL WOULD RELEASE HIS 

ORGAN THE STAND UP.  SHE REACHED FOR THE BODICE OF THE DRESS AND RIPPED 

IT APART DOWN THE MIDDLE.  THE DRESS FELL TO THE GROUND AND SHE STOOD 

BEFORE HIM NAKED.  SHE KISSED HIM DEEPLY AND THEN ODDLY TURN HER BACK 

TO HIM.  THEN SHE BENT OVER, AS THOUGH SHE DROPPED SOMETHING, ALTHOUGH 

I COULD NOT SEE WHAT SHE DROPPED, AND WAITED.  THE MAN MOVED BEHIND HER 

AND THRUST HIS MANHOOD IN A OPENING THAT WAS BETWEEN THE WOMAN'S LEGS.  

THE MAN PISTONED IN AND OUT FOR SEVERAL MINUTES.  BOTH OF THEM WERE 

MOANING AND SCREAMING.  THOSE PASSING BY WOULD ONLY SMILE OR NOD AND 

KEEP ON GOING. I WAS BECOMING BORED. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE WHEN THE 

MAN PULLED OUT OF HER OPENING AND SQUIRTED SEVERAL OUNCES OF WHITE 

LIQUID ON THE GIRLS REAR.  TWO OTHER GIRLS STANDING NEARBY, BOTH 

BEAUTIFUL AND YOUNG, WANTED TO GO NEXT.  THE MAN SMILED AND WAVED THEM 

OVER.  AS THESE TWO NEW GIRLS WALKED OVER TO HIM, THEY STRIPPED ALL OF 

THEIR GARMENTS FROM THEMSELVES.  I COULD NOT BEAR TO WATCH ANY MORE AND 

LEFT.



	"It sounds like my kind of afterlife." I said smiling.



	REALLY?  THAT SORT OF THING INTERESTS YOU?



	"Oh yes!  It's a sort of hobby of mine.  I listen and retell 

erotic stories and that was quite good.  Do you have more?"  Death 

reached into his cloak and pulled a large hour glass from a pocket that 

appeared to be many sizes to small to accommodate it.  	Death 

looked at the flowing sand carefully.



	YES, I STILL HAVE TIME.  IT IS STILL ANOTHER FIFTEEN MINUTES 

BEFORE HE EXPIRES.  



	"So what other kinds of erotic death have you come across?"



	THERE ARE THOSE WHO GROW LARGE ANGLE WINGS FROM THEIR BACK AND GO 

TO A CLOUD-LIKE ENVIRONMENT.  THEY ARE QUITE NAKED EXCEPT FOR THEIR NEW 

WINGS AND GO ABOUT CHASING FEMALE ANGELS EQUALLY NAKED.  THEY WOULD 

BOUNCE FROM CLOUD TO FLUFFY CLOUD UNTIL SHE WAS CAUGHT.  THEN THEY 

WOULD COPULATE IN MID AIR.  OTHER TIMES THEY WOULD TURN ABOUT IN MID 

AIR SUCH THAT HIS GROIN WAS NEAR HER FACE AND VICE VERSA.  THEY WOULD 

THEN EXTEND THEIR TONGUES INTO EACH OTHER'S GROIN.  DOES THIS GIVE 

PLEASURE?



	"Most of us humans would find it pleasurable.  I personally try 

in do it as often as possible, but not as often as a would like."



	INTERESTING.  ANYWAY, THEY WOULD TWIST AND TURN, BOTH OF THEIR 

LEGS SPREAD OPEN TO ACCOMMODATE ONE ANOTHER, FLOATING UP AND DOWN 

THROUGH THE WARM AIR AND THE CLOUDS.  EVENTUALLY THAT SAME WHITE LIQUID 

WOULD COME OUT OF THE MAN AND FALL EARTHWARD.



	"What sort of death do women imagine?"



	ONE WOMAN I RECALL, IMAGINED HER SELF KIDNAPPED BY A MEDIEVAL 

KNIGHT AND TAKEN TO HIS KINGS DARK CASTLE.  THERE HER LONG SILK DRESS 

WAS TORN FROM HER FLESH AND SHE WAS PRESENTED NAKED TO THE KING.  THE 

KING, IMPRESSED BY HER NAKED BEAUTY STOOD, DISROBED AND IN FRONT OF HIS 

KNIGHTS, SERVANTS, LADIES IN WAITING AND SO FORTH, BEGAN TO RAPE HER IN 

THE MIDDLE OF THE CASTLE'S RECEPTION HALL.  THE NAKED KING PUSH HER 

BACK SUCH THAT SHE WAS LAYING ON HER BACK ON THE COLD STONE FLOOR.  HE 

THEN PUT HIS MOUTH OVER HERS, FORCING IT OPEN TO ACCEPT HIS TONGUE.  

ALL OF THIS TIME, SHE IS HITTING HIM WITH WEAK BLOWS AND THRASHES 

ABOUT.  THE KING THEN PUTS HIS MOUTH ON HER NECK, NIBBLING DOWN WARD 

TOWARD HER BREAST.  THERE HE SUCKS EACH NIPPLE VERY HARD AND THEN BITS 

AT IT BEFORE LEAVING FOR ANOTHER PART OF HER ANATOMY.  THE KING MOVES 

DOWN TO HER WAIST, BUT AS HE DOES, SHE BEGINS TO RAISE.  THE KING LOOKS 

UP AND COMMANDS ONE OF HIS KNIGHTS TO REMOVE ALL ARMOR AND CLOTHING AND 

ASSIST HIM.  AFTER DROPPING FIFTY POUND OF ARMOR ON THE FLOOR THE 

KNIGHT KNEELS NEAR THE WOMAN'S HEAD, PUSHING HER SHOULDERS BACK AGAINST 

THE COLD FLOOR.  THE KING NOTICED THE KNIGHT'S MANHOOD GROWING LONG AND 

HARD FROM LOOKING AT HIS NUDE CAPTIVE, AND INSTRUCTS HIM TO PUT IT IN 

HER MOUTH, THEN WARNS HER TO BE NICE OR ELSE.  OR ELSE WHAT?



	I shook my head, "A  threat often works well when the punishment 

is left to the imagination of the person being threatened"



	AS THE KNIGHT PLACED HIMSELF IN THE MOUTH OF THE WOMAN THE KING 

FORCED APART HER LEGS AND PUSHED HIS MOUTH OVER THE OPENING IN HER 

GROIN.  THE KING MADE LOUD SLURPING NOISES AS THE WOMAN SPASAMED AND 

TWICHTED.  AFTER A SHORT WHILE THE KNIGHT SPILLED HIS WHITE LIQUID IN 

AND AROUND HER MOUTH.  THE KING LEAPED UP AND PUSHED THE KNIGHT AWAY, 

AND LAID ON TOP OF THE WOMAN AND PUSHED HIS LONG HARD MEMBER INSIDE THE 

WOMAN'S OPENING.  HE PULSED IN AND OUT SEVERAL TIMES BEFORE COLLAPSING 

ON HER.  AFTER RECOVERING HIS WIND HE ROSE AND ANNOUNCED TO HIS KNIGHTS 

THAT EACH ONE MAY HAVE ONE TURN WITH HER.  WITH THAT ALL THE KNIGHTS 

DISROBED AND TOOK TURNS PENETRATING HER.  AFTER ALL THE KNIGHTS WERE 

QUITE THROUGH, THREE YOUNG MAIDS TOOK THE NAKED PRISONER TO ANOTHER 

ROOM TO BE WASHED.  BEFORE PLACING HER IN THE TUB OF WARM SOAPY WATER, 

ALL THREE MAIDS REMOVED THEIR HEAVY WOOLEN DRESS, SO THAT THEY WERE AS 

NAKED AS SHE.  THE MAIDS WASHED HER TENDERLY, CARESSING HER BREASTS, 

MAKING ESPECIALLY SURE HER GROIN AND OPENING WERE PROPERLY CLEANED.  AS 

THEY DID, THEY WOULD GENTLY KISS AND LICK HER ABUSED FLESH, AND 

ENCOURAGED HER TO DO THE SAME TO THEM.  SOON ALL FOUR WERE FONDLING ONE 

ANOTHER, MOANING SOFTLY AND SPENDING AN UNUSUAL AMOUNT OF TIME WASHING 

EACH OTHERS GROINS.



	"Not the kind of heaven I would think a woman would wish on her 

self?"



	AFTER MANY MORE NIGHTS OF ABUSE A TALL MUSCULAR PRINCE WITH LONG 

BLOND HAIR AND SHINNING ARMOR  KILLS THE ABUSIVE KING AND MOST OF HIS 

KNIGHTS AND TAKES THE WOMAN AND THE THREE MAIDS TO HIS CASTLE, WHERE 

SHE DOES NOT MIND BEING NUDE OR BEING PENETRATED TWO OR THREE TIME EACH 

DAY.  THIS PRINCE DOES SEEM MUCH KINDER, MORE GENTLE IN THERE NUDE 

PLAY.  OFTEN TIMES THE THREE MAIDS WOULD JOIN THEM, AND THE SCREAMING 

IS ALWAYS ACCOMPANIED BY LAUGHTER RATHER THAN TEARS.



	"And it is here she spends a pleasant afterlife?"



	THAT IS THE ODD THING ABOUT IT.  EVERY FEW MONTHS SHE IS 

KIDNAPPED BY SOME HOSTILE KNIGHT, OR WICKED SORCERER OR DRAGON OR 

SOMETHING.  AND EACH TIME SHE IS FORCED TO HAVE SEX IN DIFFERENT AND 

BIZARRE WAYS.  AND EACH TIME HER PRINCE COMES TO RESCUE HER ONLY TO 

HAVE THE WHOLE THING REPEAT IN A FEW MONTHS.  VERY ODD.



	"This is all very fascinating.  What is the most common seniero?"



	PROBABLY THE DESERT ISLAND.  MEN WITH HARDBODIED NAKED WOMEN, OR 

WOMEN WITH STRONG HANDSOME MEN.  WARM SEA, NO WORRIES, THAT SORT OF 

THING.  BEING ABLE TO COPULATE IN A PALM TREE AND NOT WORRY ABOUT 

FALLING.



	"And the most unusual or bizarre?"



	ONE MAN WANTED TO TEACH SEX EDUCATION IN A RATHER LIBERAL HIGH 

SCHOOL WHERE LIVE DEMONSTRATIONS, IN CLASS PRACTICE AND LOTS OF 

HOMEWORK WERE ENCOURAGED.



	"He probably didn't get any in high school himself."  



	ANOTHER COMMON ONE IS THE LAST MAN ON EARTH.  COMMON AMONG 

INTELLECTUALS WHO READ TO MUCH SCIENCE FICTION.  THEY BELIEVE 

THEMSELVES THE ONLY SURVIVOR OF A PLAGUE THAT WIPES OUT THE ENTIRE MALE 

POPULATION.  THIS MAKE THE OTHERWISE UNDESIRABLE MALE THE OBJECT OF 

EVERY FEMALES ATTENTION.  TO REPOPULATE THE EARTH HE MUST COPULATE WITH 

AS MANY WOMEN AS POSSIBLE.  IT ALSO GIVES HIM GREAT LATITUDE IN WHAT HE 

CAN DEMAND OF THE WOMEN.  HE MIGHT LIKE TO SE WOMEN NAKED IN PUBLIC, OR 

HAVE SEVERAL NUDE WOMEN FONDLE HIM AT ONCE.   HE WILL HAVE SEX ANY 

WHERE AND EVERY WHERE HE FANCIES.  IN PARKS, ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION,  

EVEN ON THE TABLE OF A FANCY EATING ESTABLISHMENT.  YOU WOULD NEVER 

BELIEVE WHAT HE DID WITH THE DESSERT.



	Death paused his description of the dessert and took out the hour 

glass again and consulted it carefully and returned it to his cloak.



	I MUST PUSH OFF NOW.  THANK YOU FOR THE LATTE, IT WAS VERY GOOD.  

I WILL BE SEEING YOU.



	I looked frighten for a moment.



	IT WILL NOT BE FOR SOME TIME I SHOULD THINK.



	That was a relief.  Death got up, turned and walked to the door 

with out drawing so much as a glance from Tom Miller or the few patrons 

that were in the place.  Death picked up the scythe that was leaning 

near the door, gave me a quick salute with it and walk through the 

door.  What made it more impressive was the fact that the door was not 

open.  It didn't seem to slow Death as he pass through it and it 

certainly didn't bother the door.  I have never given much thought to 

my immortal soul before but now I had a big decision to make.  In what 

kind of perverse activity do I wish to spend eternity in.  Well 

hopefully I will have time to think about it.