Scatterings: Reprise pt 2

The thought was very disturbing, and it occupied Troyas' mind for the rest of the
morning, she dealt with Kel's questions in an automatic almost offhand way and
failed to notice that Kel was becoming more and more withdrawn.

Driving in the pickup along the highway, both of them, lost in their own
thoughts, Troya wondering if she had found the connection to the diminishing
number of her kind, and Kel wondering how and why Troya had changed so much, and
why she felt as if there was something she should remember, something bad, and
why everytime she shut her eyes she saw in her mind the lingering picture of
horror, the black leathery body with wings and red piercing eyes, suddenly she
knew she had to get away from Troya, to regain some measure of sanity.

As they approached a fairly large town, Kel started dropping hints about getting
off here and catching a bus back home, Troya turned and stared at her, then she
laughed, an abrupt laugh that sent shivers up Kel's spine.

`I dont think so, we'll have to go further on than this, we're too close still"
she said.

Kel looked at her, too close for what she wondered, cursing her memory, she knew
she was missing something vital here.

"You wont be able to go home, either, I am home for you now"

Horrified, Kel eyes bored into her face, suddenly it seemed she could see two
faces, the one she thought she loved and the face of the black winged devil.
Almost absently it seemed, Troya reached over and touched Kel lightly on the arm,
Kel felt a jolt of liquid pain boil through her veins and then she collapsed.

Troya checked her, worried that she had overdone the neural zap, but Kel was
merely unconcious, not dead, Troya sighed, perhaps dead would be better, for some
strange reason it seemed that the usual mind block that was involved with the
cleansing hadnt fully taken on Kel, she wasnt remembering full incidents as such,
just bits and pieces and that was just as dangerous.

By the time Kel awoke, with a blinding headache, the town was hundreds of
kilometers in the distance, but it seemed that Troya had stopped for supplies,
she's also brought copies of all the daily newspapers, idly Kel looked down and
then stared, stunned, for there on the page was her picture, she quickly read the
story and dropped her head in her hands.

Suddenly, all the memories that Troya had tried so hard to erase came crashing
back, all the horror, the terror, the pain, glimpses in her mind of the flight,
the hiding, first meeting Troya, then things she couldnt explain, two of her, one
her one not, making love, feeling good, then nothing, waking in the morning to
the half remembered horror of someone touching her, hurting her, and then, and
then, her head snapped up, she looked at Troya, full recollection returned, she
swallowed hard and then,

"What, or who are you, I dont really love you, do I"

Troya sighed, pulled the truck to the side of road and waited for what was to
come next.

"I killed a man, didn't I, I killed him and thats why I'm running"

Troya put out her hand to restrain Kel, and she flinched away, the remembered
jolt of pain making her wary.

"Yes, you did kill a man" she said, "but it was an accident, I know your memories
as well as what you do, he tried to rape you, make you do things that disgusted
you, you fought back, he bled to death, it was an accident, nothing more, nothing
less".

Kel looked unconvinced "then why do they say there is a warrant out for my arrest
on charges of murder?"

Troya let out an exasperated sigh "They dont know the truth, all they know is
that there was a dead man in your bedroom, and blood, and you arent to be found,
circumstantial evidence"

Kel shook her head "Ok, that explains that, but what about" and she swallowed
hard, "what about You, and me, and what you did, why did you take my memories,
and then replace them with fake memories"

"I wanted to" Troya shrugged her shoulders, "you needed something only I could
give you"

"YOU MADE ME THINK I WAS HAPPY, YOU LIED TO ME"

Troya was amazed by the vehemence in Kel's voice, the tears running down her face
showed the force of her unhappiness, slowly she reached out and touched Kels'
arm, Kel tried to move away, but Troya persisted, gently she opened Kel's mind,
it was in turmoil, images chasing wildly one after the other, in no particular
order, she began to see... things, and she was shocked, how did Kel conceal these
images from her before, they must have been buried deeply, but now somehow she
had unleashed them.

Accustomed as she was to the dying images of her victims, nothing prepared her
for this. Slowly she understood why Kel felt betrayed more than horrfied, until
this past few hours, she had never been happy, not once in her life had she been
happy, a constant stream of pain and abuse, mental and physical had scarred and
scared her, conditoned her to believing she was worthless, until, and now Troya
felt the full weight of her actions, until she had come, with her cleansing and
fake memories, she made Kel think she was loved, happy, worth something, and now
it was all coming apart at the seams, and Troya didn't know how to stop it.

She did the only thing she could think of, she opened up her mind and showed Kel
things, her true self, her past, censoring certain sections she thought might
upset Kel, she led Kel through all her emotions, actions, thoughts, right down to
the last minute, all those confusing feelings she felt when she held Kel, her
frightening thought that she might end up starving herself to death, because she
was getting too attuned to being in human form.

Kel reeled under the full force of the onslaught, assimilating and making sense
of the memories took her several minutes. She slumped in the seat, suddenly
looking grey, Troya panicked, thinking she might have overloaded her sense,
reaching in and then out she transferred a jolt of her core essence to Kel.

Kel winced and then sat up, looking better, she gazed at Troya, noting that her
assumed form was slipping, she could see the traces of the black winged form that
was a true Homnoi, she reached out and touched Troyas' face.

"You're slipping my love"

Troya reached up and touched Kels' hand, and gathered strength from the contact,
the wavering stopped, and her form solidified, Kel gazed at the lucious body and
felt compelled to ask a few questions.

"Why that body, why that manner?"

Troya explained matter of factly about the need to attract certain types of
people, certain types of psychic and auric energy, this form she found got the
attention of the types she needed. Kel smiled and then almost wonderingly reached
out to touch Troyas face again.

"It certainly got my attention, tell me, did you ever look upon me as a source of
energy?"

Troya shook her head vigorously, "Never, when I saw how hurt your mind was I
couldn't do anything but help you, something in you reached out to me, I had to
help".

"I'm glad you did" Kel said, "even now, I'm glad you did, I think I shall always
remember what happened, but now it doesnt seem as dark or bad, that is your
doing, I'm sure"

She reached out and placed her arms around Troya, her head resting on her
shoulder, Troya was suprised at the rush of feeling she experienced, it felt like
the feeling she got when she fed, but this was much more intense, it started
inside her groin and spread up her stomach up to her chest and down her arms, she
carefully held Kel to her, feeling her heart beating under her shirt, Kel looked
up, slowly Troya reached down and gently kissed her.

With an avowal that was louder and more profound than the shattered memories,
their lips met and both were taken away to that very private place, that only two
can share, it felt right, to both of them. Tremblingly Kel opened her eyes and
stared at Troya.

"I.. I  love you"

Troya held her close to her, "I'm not sure what this Love is that you feel, but
you do things to me, things I shouldnt be feeling, things that disturb and
delight me, you confuse and amaze me, things I think no Homnoi has ever felt
before, if this is love..."

Kel nodded her head

"Then I love you too".